I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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