so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
