Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
