nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
