You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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