I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
