when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Ladies don't puke and tell
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize