i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My pussy is not your playground.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
