So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
so much tequila, so little girl.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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