Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
