I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
