It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize