i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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