why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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