Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
