Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
