Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
