she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
