for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
