I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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