soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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