Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
