Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
