sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
