wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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