I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
