to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
