On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
