To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize