I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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