oh god the rape fog is back!
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
