dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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