he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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