so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
