her vagine was all disorganized.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
