i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You have to summon your inner elephant
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
