Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
and you fell through a lawn chair
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
