I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
