Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
