He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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