This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
