I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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