We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
