We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
