He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
