it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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