So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
