Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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