I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
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