one two three fourrrrnication!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well I just put wine in my tea
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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