I looked at my own cervix.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize