NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
