It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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