wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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