Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
