either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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