I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
